Swearing in Specialty coffee
Are you new to specialty coffee? Want to make it seem like you’ve been here before? We have some tips for you!
First and foremost comes the language. Coffee, much like any other specialized profession, has its own language. Common phrases that one would normally hear on the streets are adjusted to suit a more coffee-forward environment. For example, when someone enters the shop in a bad mood, we don’t say “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” In Specialty Coffee we say, “Someone channeled on the wrong side of the bed.”
When we want to express disbelief in one of our brewers overflowing and spilling all over the counter and under the machines, we don’t say “What the fuck?!” In Specialty coffee, we say, “What the filter?!” If someone grabs your takeaway coffee instead of theirs, don’t call them a “Dickhead” instead, say “Driphead.” Someone is being a bit rude? “You’re such a bitch” is for the muggles in the outside world. We say “You’re such a batch!” “Motherfucker?” no! “Mochafrappe.”
Don’t worry, this isn’t only for English speakers. Deutschespracher können "Ach du Schüsse" anstelle von "Ach du Scheiße" verwenden. Möchtest du deine Unzufriedenheit über das allgemeine Unwohlsein in der Welt zum Ausdruck bringen, da die Umwelt durch kapitalistische Profite in eine vom Menschen verursachte Vergessenheit gerät? Sag nicht “Scheißegal” sag “Süßegal.” So einfach ist die Kaffeesprache.
This is just a brief introduction to get you started on your wonderful journey into the specialty coffee world. There’s a lot more out there left to learn, and we hope to be your sherpa up that mountain. Join us for training in coffee lingo at our Roastery, alongside extraction, and dialing-in lessons. Don’t be a decaf, join us today!